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Joke of the Day

"You can tell a lot about a person by how quickly they grab their phone back to make sure you don't scroll through the rest of their photos."

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"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!"
"Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy? They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen."
"When it comes to sex, when is a man the smartest? Before, during or after sex? During. Because your plugged into a ""know it all."""
"Trump is a godsend As in 1000 B.C. plague"
"Operator: 911, what's your emergency? Me: YES HELLO DO BEES SLEEP AT NIGHT?"
"I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party."
"What's the difference between a sliced up body and a new BMW? ... I don't have a new BMW in my garage."
"What's the worst thing you can hear when your giving Willie Nelson a blowjob? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""
"7 dwarves were in a room and they started feeling sleepy. So he left."