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Joke of the Day

"Just Netflixed ""2012."" Six Billion people dead at film's end. Was prepared because PG-13 rating warned of ""Mild Violence"""

"Nowadays, most of the children dream about an IPhone, when I was a child I wanted a dog."

"It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim."

"A farmer was being haunted by the ghost of a chicken. It was a poultry-geist."

"What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate."

"What does disappointment feel like? [deleted]"

"TWILIGHT: Taking the N' out of ""Vampire Fangs"", since 2007!"

"What monsters are all the tools in the toolbox afraid of? Vampliers"

"What do you have to do to have beautiful hands? Nothing."

"Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia."