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Joke of the Day

"Boss: It's been a tough year Jim J: Am I laid off? B: No J: Fired? B: No J: What then? B: You're to be executed at noon. J: This is bullshit"

"How does Han Solo like to get around Endor? Ewoks"

"I asked a magician, ""Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?"" ""No, but I can pull a hare out of my ass"" - (More effective told out loud) :P"

"The rest of these people must be totally shitfaced. -me, driving in England"

"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Sorry, my cat walked on my keyboard and accidentally typed something Welsh."

"A man was arrested today for masturbating on a subway. Apparently, it's a crime to be metrosexual."

"Old ladies smell both good & bad. Like if you farted through a scented dryer sheet."

"What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? One has strings, the other has straaangs."

"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee."

"-Knock knock... -""Who's there?"" - 9/11 -""9/11 who?"" -You said you'd never forget!"