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Joke of the Day

"I know it's rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you're unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me"

"I used to be addicted to soap, but i'm clean now."

"If you're a douchebag, it's so easy to find the right hat."

"Pedophiles should be careful around farms Farmers are known for burying seeds."

"[firing squad] Any last requests? ""Here's my mixtape, if u like it, will u let me live?"" Yes. *listens* Oh man that's FIRE *gunshots*"

"If you had an orgy without any Scottish people... You'd be getting off scot-free."

"I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks - Dad loved her, so did my sis, but mum said she could've done with another hour or so on a low heat."

"Love is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn."

"Who can't tell the difference between short and long? This subreddit mods"

"So my friends and I were having a debate over Mortal Komabt We concluded Sub-Zero is definitely cooler than Scorpion"