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Joke of the Day

"A Chicken and an Egg are sitting in bed. The Egg looks depressed; the Chicken satisfied. Not much of a joke, but it solves which came first."

"Why are fat people so rich? Because they have lots of pounds."

"Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber."

"Ever heard a good joke about sodium? Na"

"Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion and says he's Bob Marley reincarnated, proving you can actually overdose on marijuana."

"What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer? Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side"

"On a scale of Alligator to Gorilla.... How shitty of a parent are you?"

"Who decided to call them a personal trainer and not a gym reaper?"

"I'd like to die in my sleep like my grandpa Comfortably, unlike the rest of the people in his car"