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Joke of the Day

"Gloryholes are like restaurants. The best ones are just holes in the walls."

"Did you hear the one about the Dyslexic bank robber H ran in to the bank with his gun drawn and yelled ""Put your air up in the hands mother stickers, this is a fuck up""!"

"How do you make a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven at ~~three fifty~~ tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened."

"It was always going to be a yes vote on gay marriage in Ireland. . . No reason to drink otherwise."

"Dentist: ""When was the last time you flossed?"" Me: ""BRO, you were there."""

"Roses are red, except for all of the other colors of roses that have been in existence for thousands of years. Those are different colors."

"(bed bath and beyond) *walks to beds* Wow nice beds *walks to baths* Wow nice baths *walks through intergalactic wormhole* Wow nice beyond"

"One of those people out there with protected tweets is your therapist passing your problems off as jokes."

"The #AshleyMadisonHack is getting out of hand. Site just revealed that I've been cheating on my diet. I'm not even sure how they'd know that"

"He took both kids grocery shopping by himself so I could ""relax"" so now I'm sitting here suspicious that he's done something to piss me off."