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Joke of the Day

"It was always going to be a yes vote on gay marriage in Ireland. . . No reason to drink otherwise."

"What doesn't kill me makes me smaller - Mario"

"R.I.P. bottled water. You will be mist"

"They are starting to print new Euro notes... ...on grease proof paper."

"Judge threw out a lawsuit against Starbucks said the Plaintiff had no grounds."

"I got a job at an orange juice factory I couldn't concentrate so I was canned"

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers."

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw"