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Joke of the Day

"I don't respect Aquaman, because I can't respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans."

"One thing I like about Facebook... It's my space."

"I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks."

"Why does Ganondorf hate reddit Because it has too many links! (I'll show myself out :) )"

"Dinner with Drag Queens So, I went to a Potluck with a bunch of drag queens. When the food was finally served, the host stood up and said, ""Tuck in!"""

"An elephant [NSFW] What does an elephant use for a vibrator? An epileptic."

"If your PMSing wife hands you lemons, you damn well better make lemonade or else she'll stab you & squeeze lemon juice into the open wound."

"I can't wait for turkey dinner tomorrow. I love middle eastern food."

"What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."

"My sister while kneading dough: ""This hand workout dough!"""