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Joke of the Day
"A book fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame."
Next Joke
"People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food"
"Me: What did she say about me? Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that? Too many questions? Really? Me? ...What else?"
"True love is when your pet comes to your room on its own."
"Women are super awesome at remembering insults but we have the memory of a goldfish with compliments and need them repeated continually."
"Is it getting solipsistic in here, or is it just me?"
"How many optometrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... or two? One... or two?"
"NASA spent 1.5mil on a pen that works in space. Russia putin a pencil."
"""Let me ax you something."" - a very generous lumberjack and you're a racist."
"Your Mum's so Mean she doesn't even have a standard deviation."