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Joke of the Day

"Me: What did she say about me? Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that? Too many questions? Really? Me? ...What else?"

"Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life."

"Hard work pays off in in the future Laziness pays off now"

"A black dude walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bar tender goes ""Awesome, Where'd you get that?"" The parrot replies ""Africa, there's thousands of them there."""

"How to foil someones plan (pl)(an) = pa + pn + la + ln"

"How do you say ""constipated"" in German? Farfrompoopin'"

"The constipated mathematician What does a mathematician do when she is constipated? Works it out with a pencil."

"[3 days into dieting] *sees ad for burger & fries* *drowns in his own saliva*"

"why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know..."

"Q: Why don't blonde's like audio-books? A: There aren't any pictures."