113267

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new show about Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin? It's called [Removed]"

"How is marriage and CPR training the same? You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again"

"Whats a sign a subreddit has strong moderation? [removed]"

"Life without women would be a pain in the ass!"

"The man who invented autocorrect just died. His funfair will be on Monkey."

"I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever."

"I love collective nouns: a pod of dolphins, a mob of kangaroos, a Gosselin of douches."

"Jason's wife Liane wanted something that in 6 seconds goes from 0-200.. So he bought her a bathroom scale. You're fat liane, don't sugar coat it. Because you'll just eat that too."

"Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: ""The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"""

"Best anti joke ever Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question? A:........."