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Joke of the Day

"I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever."

"A pencil isn't as phallic as a pen is."

"Motion to change the country's motto to: ""America - we're not that bright."""

"A masked priest just threw some holy water at me... ... I think it was a blessing in disguise."

"Guess who I saw today? Everyone I looked at."

"Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!"

"[2 paintings talking] ""hey man, guess what im doing this weekend?"" please dont say it ""JUST HANGING!"" i wanna move to a different gallery"

"I was just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I'll be your baby's godmother."

"What did the Mexico team travel back home with? Luggage full of goals."

"Why was lil' Wayne tired after programming? He did too much coding."