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Joke of the Day

"""He's gone too far."" ""He crossed the line between science & ethics."" ""He's playing God."" -reaction to the amount of cheese I put in omelets"

"Someone asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" isn't the right answer."

"50 Shades He slowly but firmly grabs my throat. I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...' - 50 Shades of Macy Gray."

"How does a viola greet a relative? Cello!"

"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!"

"What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"good parents A mother said to her son, ""Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."" The son replied, ""Maybe he has good parents then!"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women Cinnamon roasted, french pressed, with bit of sugar, and I'll add my own cream."

"Been flirting with this hot chick in this bar for almost a hour now. It's only a matter of time now till nothing sexual happens whatsoever."

"What type of drugs do ducks use? What type of drugs to ducks use? Quack cocaine."