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Joke of the Day

"A woman at Wal-mart said she was better than me. I told her to get off her high scooter."

"Women and not being attractive If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."

"I unsubscribed from the official earthbending subreddit. Getting tired of all these Internet Toph Guys."

"I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don't hurt his feelings"

"What's the difference between a gun and a penis I don't put a penis in my mouth every night and cry"

"I like to ask strangers in line at the DMV to guess my weight just so I can see what I can get away with putting on my license."

"TIL Steve Harvey was the valedictorian of his graduating class. Oh wait, no he wasn't. My mistake."

"Can ""born this way"" apply to laziness?"

"[Girl over my house] ""My ex boyfriend had this weird one-man-band thing. You dont, right?"" [Unclipping my harmonica holder] Def not."

"Most conversations that occur over Bluetooth are about buying a used jet ski."