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Joke of the Day

"Who abhors a vacuum more than nature? A cat."

"Fat chicks are like masturbation. Totally fine to do in the privacy of your own home, but you should be ashamed to be caught in public."

"Why do they call it a cheese grater? Because nothing is greater than chesse."

"Hookers and blow Whats the difference between a hooker and a crack dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again"

"Did I ever tell you about the time I had a fart that lasted for an entire minute? It's a long-winded story."

"What's red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch."

"So i uploaded this sick new video to Youtube... Yeah, it went viral"

"Hey baby..are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids in you"

"The Russians official stance on the downed MH17 flight: Donetsk, don't tell."

"Helium walks into a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender says ""Sorry. We don't serve noble gases here"". He doesn't react."