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Joke of the Day

"Helium walks into a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender says ""Sorry. We don't serve noble gases here"". He doesn't react."

"In 2016 Scott Baio has called Hillary Clinton a cunt, Chris Christie has called her a criminal and Ben Carson has called her a Lucifer worshiper. What will they call her in 2017? Madam President."

"*leads a conga line off of a bridge"

"What do you call a shitty bungalow? Dungalow."

"A member of the Army Corps of Engineers was working on the design of the bottom of an android ""What exactly is going on?"", I asked. He replied, ""A Major engineering feet."""

"My mother-in-law said ""just do what you normally do"" when she came to stay with us. Not going to lie, naked Saturday was a little awkward."

"I don't have a girlfriend.... I just know a few people who would get mad if I said that."

"A robot had an accident and sustained a head injury. He was a bit upset."

"If you think Pi is 3142, then you're missing the point."

"I was in a relationship with a chimera, but it got weird. She wouldn't stop calling me ""daddy""."