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Joke of the Day

"Crazy how women have the stereotype of being chatty when 90% of dudes have 45 minute podcasts that no one listens to..."

"If Edgar Allen Poe didn't have a cat named Poepurry, then I question him as a writer."

"In grocery store & guy grabs my hand,starts to walk.I go with him, till he turns & realizes I'm not his wife.We broke it off...Single again"

"Listen kids, money's tight. So when I make you balloon animals you should say 'thank you' and not complain about the lubricant."

"What weapons did the Romans use to fight the Carthaginians As-salt rifles"

"Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like ""is this about me?"" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like ""is that about me?"""

"What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute. Sorry if repost."

"What's your crappiest Pick-up attemp? Me: ""Hey, how much does a polar bear weights?"" Her: o.O ""Wut...idk"" Me: ""Enough to break the ice, I'm NuComer, how you doing?"""

"I've just read a book on how dramatically footballers wives lose their looks once their husbands retire.It's a real WAGS to witches story."

"Why was the priest afraid of trigonometry? cos sin"