1130

Joke of the Day

"You smell like trash..... Can I take you out?"

"No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery."

"I haven't been this confused about what's going on since The Cranberries yodeled that one song about zombies."

"HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE: It takes 24,637 BOLTS to put a car together, but only one NUT to spread it all over the road. Don't Drink & Drive!"

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"[Opens ""Where's Waldo?"" book to page with Eiffel Tower.] ""Paris. Easy. Next!"""

"My friends joke he made up!! Why can you ask a NewZealander how many sexual partners they have had? Because he would fall asleep counting all the sheep. (Btw we are Australian sooo)"

"What brand of underwear did Jesus wear? Fruit of the Womb"

"My daughter doesn't know I put the last pudding cup in her lunch earlier this evening, so she won't know I took it out and am eating it now."

"It's almost Thanksgiving day... Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight."