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Joke of the Day

"Thesaurus Club First rule of Thesaurus Club. You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, gossip or natter about Thesaurus Club."

"I reply to ""Happy New Year"" with ""not if I have anything to do with it."""

"""Y dnt u Muslims tell ISIS to stop"" Ok hold up *pulls out iphone* ""Yo ISIS habibi,its me plz stop"" ISIS:""ok habibi sorry,shisha tonight?"""

"Nothing more American than getting on an airport's ""moving walkway"" and standing still as it slowly carries you to a Cinnabon."

"What is both a fruit and a vegetable? Elton John in a coma."

"Do you before read your tweets even sending them?"

"I don't know why they call it a period. At my house it's more like ""!#%* you, you piece of $&!@""."

"Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents named him Sudden Lee."

"Why haven't any subscribers to r/TheRedPill played Overwatch yet? They don't play the beta."

"What's the difference between harry potter and jews? Harry escaped the chambers."