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Joke of the Day

"Don'tcha wish your g/f was fun like me? *plays Twister* Don'tcha wish your g/f was a freak like me? *regurgitates a jellyfish* Don'tcha...?"

"Broke up with my girlfriend today It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins."

"Bill Clinton is so getting laid tonight. Hillary is in Indonesia."

"How many teenage girls does it take to screw..... in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it up as the whole world revolves around her."

"We've hired a new accountant. Her name is Helen Wait. Anyone expecting a check from us can go to Helen Wait."

"Where do you store a werewolf? In a were-house"

"Doc : You have been diagnosed with obesity. Me : Yeah it runs in my family. Doc : Nobody runs in your family, you fat fuck."

"For every stripper with ""daddy issues"" there are 10 more ""daddies with stripper issues"""

"Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your shit in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her."

"I like my coffee how I like my women. With my dick in it! (Joke from Board James)"