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Joke of the Day

"HIM: Hi, I'm Bill. ME: Hi, I'm...oh shit this is embarrassing. I'm not really good with names."

"Better than a Justin Bieber concert: 1. Being deaf. 2. A rattlesnake bite. 3. Chewing razor blades. 4. Licking a public toilet seat."

"Don't touch my nutella with your banana."

"I recently went to my doctor for a physical... Doctor: ""Everything looks fine but you need to stop masturbating"". Me: ""Why?"" Doctor: ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical""."

"What does Matthew Shephard hate more than being raped, having AIDS, and being pistol whipped? Camping."

"What do you call a bull masturbating? Beef stroganoff"

"Why couldn't JFK be a boxer? He couldn't take shots to the head."

"Every 3 seconds a woman has a baby Our mission is to find this woman and stop her."

"Obesity it's a disease People in America say obesity is a disease. The only thing diseases and obese people have in common is they are both really easy to catch."

"""I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down"" ~Bowling pins"