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Joke of the Day

"I have no sympathy for amateurs who make sex tapes or take nude pics of themselves and cry ""invasion of privacy"" when they fail to safeguard them and they leak to the media and public."

"What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!"

"Good looks are a bonus, humour is a must."

"Did you hear about the kiln operator who sucked at his job? He got fired."

"Me: Both of our hamsters died and we just can't part with them Taxidermist: Would you like them mounted? Me: Um no, just holding hands"

"While I was very disappointed & angry to find my daughter smoking a cigarette I'll be damned if she didn't look cooler."

"Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way."

"A C++ error walks into a bar... A C++ error walks into a bar. The bartender looks up at it and says ""I'm sorry, but we don't serve bugs here"". The error replies ""But I'm an EXCEPTION!"" Haaaaaaaaaa!"

"Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy."

"There are so many songs that tell us how to breathe. It's like musicians and songwriters have never heard of the autonomic nervous system."