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Joke of the Day

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! THOR: ""here"" IRON MAN: ""here"" HULK: ""here"" PHIL COLLINS - ""here"" ... ok Phil how do u keep getting into S.H.I.E.L.D man"

"I love you like a fat kid loves anything that will make him forget that his dad physically abuses him."

"A history joke Teacher: When was Rome built? Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that? Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!"

"Which word is the longest in the English language? Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters"

"How Many Martians Does It Take to Screw In a Lightbulb? At least two, but they have to be pretty small to fit."

"Why did the square breakup with the circle? She wasn't edgy enough!"

"What's your best haiku?"

"Ladies, if you love a man, set him free. If he comes back he will be yours forever. If he doesn't, the new chick probably squirts or does anal."

"As of now, I only know of three Jewish holidays: Hanukkah The Bar Mitzvah The Oscars"

"Did you hear about the guy who drowned in a glass of Ribena? He was dragged away by a strong current."