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Joke of the Day

"I eat when I'm sad and I'm sad because I'm fat."

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"*sniffs date's hair* [later on in ambulance] ""no, it's my fault for not mentioning I'm allergic to japanese cherry blossoms"""
"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy."
"So here I am in this internet cafe... ...with the biggest fucking nigger I've ever seen reading every word I ty"
"What do you call a good looking Spanish/Jewish guy? Flacowitz"
"Did you hear about the fortune teller that... Had bad breath, calluses all over his body and couldn't win a fight? He was a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed with halitosis."
"What's got two wings, a tail and twenty five pricks? England's return flight."
"How do you know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out the tampon, the cotton's been picked clean."
"White house What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful? A tourist."
"Policeman: Are you going to a fire? Motorist: No I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said would happen if I were late again."