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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle? Thief. What do you call TWO (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle? Organized crime."

"I identify as a Skywalker I guess you could call me Anakin."

"Peter Pan and the Lost Boys are actually the souls of aborted kids That explains Captain Hook"

"My brother forgot his apple today. Until he was rear-ended by a doctor."

"Get in on Syrian real estate now! The markets are exploding!"

"Q: Why shouldn't you bowl against a snake? A: Because snakes make lots of strikes."

"I think I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start eating."

"Parents spend the first 3 years of their child's life teaching it to walk and talk.. They then spend the next 10 years teaching it to sit down and shut up."

"No son, you can't go out with your friends. Tonight we're installing Windows Updates, as a family."

"Why was the sterile Grizzly upset? Because he couldn't Bear children."