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Joke of the Day

"If you smoke while you're pregnant your baby comes out wearing a t-shirt and jeans looking cool as hell."

"What is blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"I texted and drive sometimes I guess we all do stupid things when we're drunk"

"Don't be that crazy person who collects cats. Collect something else instead like toenails."

"Did you hear about the guy who pick pocketed a midget? How could he stoop so low?"

"Sorry about all the typos lately, gays."

"What would Matthew McConaughey eat if he were a horse? McConaugHAY"

"What do they say when you leave an abortion clinic in Germany? Al-fetus-zane"

"Bigfoot is like a father to me... ... I've only ever seen him in photos, never in real life."

"If a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls, they call him a stallion. If a stallion sleeps with a bunch of girls, they shut that riding school down."