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Joke of the Day
"What did the Asian guy say about all the recent celebrity deaths? They're dropping like Freys!"
Next Joke
"Jokes about communism are funny... Unless you share them with everybody"
"*T-Rex stubs his toe* OUCH I'M SO MAD. JUST... MAD. I'M... ""Angry? Agitated? Irritated? Anno-"" SHUT UP THESAURUS NO ONE ASKED YOU."
"I remember being told that everytime you shave it off, it grows back thicker Can't wait to see my new cock."
"Wife: Where are the kids? Me *turns off router* [from down the hallway] HEYYYYYYY!!!! Me: They're in their rooms."
"Her: Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Me: No but I follow a few on Twitter."
"Pony: ""I love hay so much I-"" Dad: ""Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?"" *pony grows up* *becomes Horse Emperor* *legalizes hay marriage*"
"My Life Thats the joke"
"My wife claims watching me do karate ""isn't foreplay."" Why am I even alive."
"My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty."