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Joke of the Day

"My wife claims watching me do karate ""isn't foreplay."" Why am I even alive."

"Coworker: My arms are killing me from hoeing in my garden this weekend. Me: Thanks but I'd rather not hear about your sex life."

"Just a hipster joke passing by... Why did the hipster burn his hand? Because he touched the heater before it was cool."

"My Wife always asks why I make science jokes. Y*_o_* ?"

"Caught my ping smoking weed while playing online Now it became high"

"Can you tell me what you call a person from Corsica? Course a can."

"I broke my can opener.... .... I guess it was a can't opener. Source: happened when I tried to open a can of soup this morning."

"Whenever I shake someone's hand as I meet them and they say ""The pleasure's all mine."" I quickly look to see where their other hand is."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender."

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it will be a foot!"