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Joke of the Day

"I thought one of the ten word-play jokes my dad told would make me laugh, but... no pun in ten did."

"It's amazing the things you'll do for a person when you want to see them naked."

"Why are yachts and ships so scary? Because they're for boating."

"[Judas standing alone waiting to be picked for dodgeball] -Come on it was one time guys *Jesus drags the CPR dummy to his side of the gym*"

"What's green and smells of pork? Kermit's cock"

"How many political idealists does it take to change a light bulb? None, political idealists can't change anything."

"Two aboriginees, a mother and child, see a plane fly by The child asks, ""mom, are planes good to eat?"" The mother replies, ""Planes are like lobsters, you only eat what's inside."""

"I love it when I go to untie a shoe and inadvertently tie a Double Reverse Hitch knot and have to hire an Eagle Scout to get my sneaker off."

"I'm at my most ""floor manager"" when I'm falling down drunk."

"I wish I was invisible & could fly... I'd then beat up a mime and see how much applause he gets."