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Joke of the Day

"Lol I wanted to be funny, well, then I remembered I am not even funny.."

"My wife has just come home and asked how things went with the baby. Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her"

"Do you think Dr. Seuss' wife liked to be called Ma? Because if so she would be a Ma Seuss."

"What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins? Fred."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that CAN gather information from incomplete data"

"Floyd Mayweather is unbeaten Can't say the same about the women in his life"

"Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret"

"How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? cause their cars are always Stalin"

"Why didn't the melons get married? They were cantaloupes. ;)"

"The first thing I'm doing with my time machine is telling my past self to only microwave popcorn for 2 minutes max."