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Joke of the Day
"Floyd Mayweather is unbeaten Can't say the same about the women in his life"
Next Joke
"implant permanent instagram filters on the cornea of my eyes so everything I see looks nostalgic and vintage"
"face down ass up that's the way I like to contemplate the fragility of my existence"
"Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green."
"3yr old had a urine test today so we gave him smarties for peeing in a cup. Now he and his brother are pissing in EVERYTHING for more candy."
"What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks."
"I stopped going to my colorblind therapist. He could never tell when I was blue."
"What happens when a woman can't remember her mastectomy? Mammary loss   I made this up myself!"
"Thanks for letting everyone on facebook know your phone is broken. I was already thinking about never calling or texting you anyway."
"WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won't know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don't know either."