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Joke of the Day
"Priest in bathroom I walked in on a priest going on the bathroom and I was like HOLY SHIT!"
Next Joke
"My boyfriend cheated on me So I convinced him to get matching tattoos... he went first and I went home"
"The Top Three things for Halloween you can do now in North Carolina: #3 Swim with the sharks, #2 Have an account on Ashley Madison, #1 riding a street car in Charlotte NC."
"None of this is appropriate for anybody. Take the 18+ out of your bio."
"What do you call optimistic lube? Lubrican"
"I almost got hit by a car just now, but it was a cool car and I'm looking pretty cool today so it would have been cool."
"How does a train eat? It goes chew chew!"
"[god, creating chickens] Put a red beard on a fat hiccuping sparrow. Give him a matching hat, I don't care"
"Remember when you could strangle people with your phone? Those were the days.."
"whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there"