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Joke of the Day

"Please spare me the agony of listening to your relationship problems if you always end up with the same idiot."

"A Google Doc of friends' employment status so everyone knows who can chill whenever."

"Each day of my life is like a chapter in a book.....deserving of a happy ending...."

"I collect coins and old paper money. For our anniversary, my wife surprised me with a $1,000 bill! Unfortunately, it was from Fendi, for a pair of shoes."

"Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet? Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny"

"Just a Reddit joke Never mind, I already Reddit."

"The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan. EDIT: Woke up to find THIS :O"

"My true love and I are like parallel lines. We will never meet and I will die alone."

"""Give it to me"", she screamed ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now"" ""Fuck off"", I said ""this is my umbrella"""

"Did you hear the story of the Rabbi who lifted his synagogue into the air with a bunch of balloons? He brew up."