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Joke of the Day

"Canada in view of recent events will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant. That way the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag."

"What would To Kill a Mockingbird be called if Harper Lee was an alcoholic? Tequila Mockingbird."

"My wife is the most beautiful, intelligent person standing right behind me reading my Twitter feed."

"I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes."

"What happens when 1 extrovert goes out to eat with 3 introverts? Literally fucking nothing. My God."

"Q: What state has the highest cell phone bills? A: Text-us"

"Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose."

"What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet? Supplies!!!"

"I asked my friend, ""If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be?"" He said, ""Cold War Russia."""

"what do you get when you spell dyslexia gangnam style? sexilady!"