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Joke of the Day

"If I ever get a Roomba, I'm gonna be totally irresponsible and just throw crumbs on the floor for fun."

"How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple"

"What'd the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip"

"why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat-belt. Stay safe tonight everyone!"

"What is the difference between a woman and a forklift? There is none. In both cases, if you don't have one, you unload by hand."

"So an Irishman walks out of the bar."

"Why is light beer similar to sex in a boat? They're both fucking close to water."

"What's the difference between a book and a mexican? A book has papers."

"Jokes about deporting Mexicans aren't funny They're despicable."

"Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you to get off your ass and do things."