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Joke of the Day

"So an Irishman walks out of the bar."

"House Hunters: We need plenty of space for entertaining, 62 bedrooms, a fully staffed Cheesecake Factory & a heliport. Our budget is $287."

"My mommy used to warn me that there could be creepy people on the internet. But I'm not afraid anymore... Now that I'm on reddit I'm one of those people."

"No bullshit, if any color is unemployed, its maroon"

"my girlfriend said I have to give up my love of pointing out objects, or she would leave. I responded: ""well there's the door"""

"[MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct."

"Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?"

"I asked my girlfriend to buy me some Japanese food. ... sushi did."

"My grandma started dying in the living room Well, I guess it isn't the living room anymore."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute with dysentery and an epileptic oyster shucker? The oyster shucker, shucks between fits......."