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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a woman and a forklift? There is none. In both cases, if you don't have one, you unload by hand."

"I told my girlfriend I would get a picture of her on my new debit card... So that even if we break-up, she'll still be taking my money."

"""RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"" ""Kraken's not here."" ""What? Ugh! What can we release?"" ""Gary's here."" ""Gary?! Dammit! Fine... RELEASE THE GARY!"""

"I used to be opposed to organ transplant... But after having one done myself; I guess I've had a change of heart."

"Did you hear about the new iPhone? It's a six s (success)"

"My doctor wrote a prescription for dailysex. But my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."

"What is the meaning of afford? It's the car most sales representatives drive."

"So I have half a joke about a guy, Who is really shook up about his Parkinson's diagnosis... But I just cant quite put my finger on the punchline."

"seems like you must have been preeeetty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s"

"If I ever have a baby, I hope it's a puppy."