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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather was a fantastic fisherman... they used to call him the ""Master-Baiter""."

"Few things are as consistently weird as the guy/girl handshake."

"You know why those automatic sensor sinks save water? Because none of them fucking work"

"What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird."

"Why did Trump go to space? Because hot air rises"

"Winter's coming so I'm knitting you a muffler. What size is your mouth?"

"Mom says to Dad: ""I've found a BDSM magazine under our son's bed. What are we supposed to do about it?"" Dad replies: ""I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."""

"So there's this new music attraction at SeaWorld featuring some guy they call Squid Barrett. They refer to themselves as Ink Floyd."

"I think my brother is addicted to huffing paint. It's written all over his face."

"If there were no food left what could people do? Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people could have their traffic jams."