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Joke of the Day

"This is a baby horse: it can walk 4 hours after it's born This is a baby human: don't touch its head wrong or you'll bonk its brain"

"A Chinese baby was born prematurely. Parents named him Sudden Lee."

"I've got two right here for ya Who are the easiest kids to pick on? Orphans. Who are they going to tell, their parents? Jews should feel lucky. They got their grandparents cremated for free!"

"If the T-Rex had arms that were long enough to hug, they probably wouldn't have been so mean."

"What do you call somebody who pretends to play on a player piano? A Penis"

"Why are fruit fetishists never alone? Because they cum in pears."

"[battle] ME: It's no good. We gotta quit SARGE: Quit? I don't know the meaning of the word M: It means give up S: Oh cool. Lets do that"

"A lethal injection that takes two hours has no place in a civilized society. And it shouldn't happen in Arizona either."

"""Dammit"" or ""Damnit"" are both acceptable, unless you are over the age of sixty, in which case ""Dagnabit"" is required."

"I named my boobs... I named my boobs All and Hell, 'cause when my bra comes off All Hell breaks loose."