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Joke of the Day

"When my wife is out of town my sleeping position changes from 'balancing on edge of bed' to 'snow angel'"

Next Joke
 
"What does the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now it's offensive to talk about."
"Wife: Let's get my mom a special gift; one that will make her lose her mind! Me: How about a guillotine? Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch."
"I'm single by choice. But it's not my choice."
"How does an Asian Cowboy say Hello? ""Ni-Hao-dy"""
"What idiot called him Alexander graham bell instead of lord of the rings"
"What did the dog get at the vet? [FIXED]"
"bleakest Russian joke i know ""children! Your father hanged himself for some peace and quiet, not so you could have a swing-set!"""
"What do me and Mariah Carey have in common? Neither of us know the words to any of her songs"
"I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me."