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Joke of the Day

"""What do you do for a living?"" ""I'm an organ trafficker."" ""Oh my God, do you have no heart?"" ""Are you criticizing me or making an order?"""

"Tater Tots is a much better name than the original Crispy Potato Embryos."

"In World War 3, which country would retreat first? Iran."

"*takes long drag from cigarette* *stares off into the distance* *slowly glances down at hand* *lights cigarette*"

"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes you just need a really big fishing rod."

"I'm on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle."

"What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza? Little Caesars http://imgur.com/QdWVk4r"

"I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig ... Maybe not a funny joke but at least it is deep."

"Sean Connery doing a knock knock joke (X-post from /shubreddit) Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery"

"Why would peter pan make a terrible pilot Because he'd neverland."