193692

Joke of the Day

"""For sale: Brown skinned Cabbage Patch doll..."" It's only Harv Price"

"[Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] ""YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"""

"That awkward moment when you're trying not to look when someone is staring at you."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped police custody? Be on the lookout for a small medium at large."

"Anal with my girlfriend made my day. But it made her hole weak."

"Just back from that seafood disco. Pulled a mussel!"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like ""hey thanks"" and I'm like ""I'm just happy to be a part of this nice community"""

"Condoms aren't as safe as they make them out to be... My friend was wearing one when he got hit by a truck. He's not doing too well..."

"What would happen if Donald Trump was about to be assassinated? Secret Service would shout ""Donald, Duck!"""

"Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween? Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks."