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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Any questions? Me: On the sitcom Friends, how come the only couch at the coffee shop was always available for them?"

"My girlfriend doesn't think I can think fix the electric shower. Well, she's in for a shock"

"I posed naked for a magazine today. Although from the reaction I got I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money."

"You know pterodactyls' don't make noise right? Even the P is silent."

"According to this bathroom stall, my ex changed her number again."

"Wife just found out my ring tone for her is ""ding dong the witch is dead"" so if anyone wants to race to Canada READY SET GO"

"How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb."

"Just wrote ""58008"" on my calculator app and when I turned it upside-down, it auto-orientated back to the right way up. I hate the future."

"Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR? They told him he was good at deriving"

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three hoes. (sorry if repost)"