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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a man-whore and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three ""hoes"""
Next Joke
"A girl approaches a guy... Girl: Do you drink? Guy: No. Girl: Do you do drugs? Guy: No. Girl: Do you watch porn? Guy: No. Girl: Then how do you have fun? Guy: I lie to people."
"Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted? To get fucked by a third party?"
"This is how I like to review my books: I look at their prose and cons."
"What did the mexican say when he hugged a cactus Ay, Ay, Ay, Ayy"
"Going to a party tonight, but keeping it mellow. One or two glasses of cocaine and that's it."
"There is no ""me"" in team. No, wait, yes there is!"
"Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver"
"In Korean restaurant w/my son & Korean waitress says to him""Hi, how are you""? ""Sorry I don't speak Chinese"" Great. I've raised a douche!"
"I can't take anymore of this 50 Shades of Grey promo. It's still your basic Cinderella story. Now she just has a ball gag."