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Joke of the Day

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you are gay. (I'm a terrible person.)"

"What do your mother and the ground have in common? They are always full of seed."

"What does the German wheat farmer say to his wife in the morning? Gluten Morgen!"

"You know what's great about senility? You can hide your own Easter eggs."

"Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!"

"How did Aladdin die? Carpet bombing."

"I raise the acceptable weight limit of potential sex partners everyday I go without getting laid. Today I hit 2 tons."

"BILL COSBY Rapped me in the arse with a pudding pop!"

"So we need to go over your drug history... Let me stop you there. It's gonna be quicker if I just tell you the ones's I haven't done."

"If con is the opposite of pro it must mean Congress is the opposite of progress?"