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Joke of the Day

"You hear about the guy who lost his eyelid in an accident? They used his foreskin for a skin graft. He turned out just fine, but he was a little cock eyed."

"My cat just started kneading my back in bed and I said ""not now"" so wish us luck we're officially married."

"How do you know a white person is about to tell a joke? He's looking over his shoulder"

"Back in my day we had another word for selfie sticks, we called them friends."

"I'm in a band called called Dyslexia We've just released our greatest shit album"

"Why Mathematics make you a Terrorist? Because they teach what is the history of Al Gebra."

"All of my passwords are the names of various ""Friends"" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel."

"Why do suicide bombers have 72 virgins? one for each chunk."

"I went on a diet for 10 days. You know what I lost? 10 Days"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the P is silent!"