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Joke of the Day

"Oh my god! there was a kidnapping right outside my house today... So weird to see a kid sleeping on the sidewalk in the middle of the day."

"Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill."

"if I ever go missing, it won't be hiking. you guys don't even have to look there."

"Bareknuckle boxing is a little less manly... ...when you refer to it as ""topless fisting"". -&y (again, tis written by me!)"

"what if everyone's dick had its own little dick well see ya later"

"Why are so many people caucusing for Hillary Clinton... They were inspired by Monica Lewinsky."

"I bought my mom a fridge for her birthday present You should have seen her face light up when she opened it!"

"My psychic friend told me that she could tell me what my favourite band is... I said No Doubt"

"Before going to your partner's parents' house for the 1st time, it's very important to ask ""How much Jesus stuff can I expect to see?"""

"Fun way to make someone question everything: comment ""you are so brave"" on all their selfies."