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Joke of the Day

"I like my men like I like my coffee... White, tepid, and saccharine sweet."

"Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling ""LET THE BEETS DROP!"" And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable."

"What's the square root of optimus prime? I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye."

"I hate having to brush my teeth in the morning. I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth."

"Chickens in the farm Q: Why did the chicken not cross the road to meat the cow? A: The steaks were already too high."

"The most successful marriages and the very worst marriages end exactly the same way... ...with one partner watching the other one die."

"Did you hear about the porn star who got jizz in her eye during a scene? She didn't see that one coming."

"What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster? Sir."

"Where does a North Korean go after he upvotes a thread on Reddit? To the morgue."

"Why was the tomato blushing? Answer: ...Because it saw the salad dressing!"