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Joke of the Day

"There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people"

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"There are 10000000 people in a room 1 of them understands binary and the other 127 don't. Decided to make my own variation of the original joke :)"
"A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only plastic wrap for shorts... The shrink says, ""Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."""
"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff."
"How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? He farts"
"[stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!"
"Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."
"a classics professor goes to a tailor... A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""
"*Brings pen to sword fight* Guy with sword : What's that? Me : Tis mightier! *Gets beheaded*"
"I basically have 3 hairstyles... Straight. Wavy. Homeless."