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Joke of the Day

"*daughter grabs 50 shades of grey* NO! *smacks it out of her hand* ""I want to color!"" ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK ""But daddy-"" DON'T CALL ME THAT"

"What did Gandalf say when he tried to shut down Auschwitz? ""You shall not gas!"""

"Johnny Depp is proof that if you dress like you're a member of a rock band long enough one will just form around you eventually"

"If cats could text you back, they wouldn't."

"What's the best time of this month for vampires? It depends on the girl"

"What do you get with breaking news? News casts"

"You know what's funny? My life :("

"Why is six afraid lf seven? Because seven just came back from a trip to West Africa."

"I think it's sweet that teens text ""U up?"" really late at night to check that their friends are getting to bed at a reasonable hour"

"Do you like pork hocks? * Do you like pork hocks in your mouth? * You're a gay pig."